how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
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My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
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Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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