I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
