by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
