she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
