why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
