Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize