Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
