tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
