i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
