At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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