New low: just hacked my moms facebook
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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