It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
