a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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