It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
