OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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