just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
