i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
