Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
