Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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