I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
