Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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