So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
