Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
