Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
