I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
