Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
