just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
