OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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