if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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