He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
