no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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