Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
