so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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