i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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