Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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