The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
