i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
