I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
