Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
