I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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