fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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