i think my mom watched the whole time
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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