theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
