i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
