he wants to bone in the snuggie
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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