fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just googled if crying burns calories
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
