Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
