My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
