How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
