3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
