I want to walk on stilts...naked
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
