Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
