i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
