i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I think I am morally bankrupt
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
