God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
