I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
