Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
