So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
