I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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