Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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